‘I came into the game quite late actually. I watched Seve Ballesteros win the Open Championship in St Andrews in 1984 when I must have been 12. I think that fired my enthusiasm for the game. As far as I can remember anyway, I used to play pretty instinctively. I was just expressing my happiness, freedom and love of life through sports.’
The above answer from professional golfer Sam Jarman when asked about his attitude towards golf as a youngster is somewhat similar to most individuals who have made it to a reasonable level in sport. It all began with a love of the exploration side of their game. The freshness of it and, without fluff, the enjoyment that it brought them. Usually at some stage however, that attitude towards sport somewhat changes. Instead of competing purely for the love of doing it and the happiness it brings, the reason behind practising daily and competing weekly becomes somewhat blurred. Sam, also a sport philosopher and writer, was no different in this pathway.
‘For me my attitude towards golf probably changed at 16 or 17. I’d got my handicap right down and started playing in local championships and county events. I certainly remember that I started to feel a bit more anxious and insecure when I played.’
The initial conclusion that Sam reached was that this change in mentality came from the sport itself, it was something he felt came with playing golf at a higher level. Instead however, after looking into it in far greater detail, he realised that the issue instead stemmed from a change in the way he now viewed competing in golf.
‘We’re told that our feelings come from the outside — the situations we experience, the circumstances we’re in. Logically that just isn’t true. For example, I’d be more nervous in the build up to a tournament than when I was out playing. The perception was that it was actually playing golf that was making me nervous, but if that was true then surely I’d have felt nervous all the time whilst playing because it was golf that was supposed to be making me nervous? Instead though, that feeling of pressure and anxiety would come and go.
‘What I’ve noticed over the years is that pressure is just a form of self-consciousness. There’s an overwhelming sense of I and Me and what people think of you. That’s what pressure is, a strong awareness of self or me. If you think of when we’re at our best, we’re in a flow state and the idea of self just disappears. We forget who we are and where we are and we just focus on what we’re doing.’
The understanding that Sam speaks of during this interview is echoed in his book The Three Principles of Outstanding Golf. The concept of the three principles, first articulated by Scotsman Sydney Banks, is a concept that looks into the interconnection of the mind, consciousness and thought. These are the principles that create our individual reality on a moment by moment basis. Although some individuals have varying levels of the understanding naturally, Sam reckons it is something that’s not emphasised nearly enough within a sporting environment.
‘It’s not pointed to enough in sport, but it’s not anybody’s fault. If you’re watching a team perform at their best and you get caught up in an idea or a culture that the idea of hard-work, determination, grit and willpower will result in success, then that’s what you’re going to see.’
All the way through our life, whether it’s in a classroom, in a sport team or at work, we are fed the narrative that hard work, sacrifice and suffering will put us in the best possible place to reap success and, as a result, we’ll inevitably become happy. The reality is instead completely different. You hear of far too many individuals going through years of relentless sacrifice and suffering to meet their goals to only find out that once they do reach it, it isn’t actually all it’s shaped out to be. Instead of promoting happiness based on outcomes and the toxic struggle to get there, would it not be far more beneficial to promote the idea of actually loving and embracing the process? Sam certainly suggests that the way forward is decluttering the mind from thoughts of I and Me and reverting back to an almost childlike attitude towards exploration, learning and being present.
‘This is why you see young athletes in particular playing with such freedom. They are still in that childlike space, expressing themselves and playing with instinct. Then gradually you get caught up in this sense of self and belief that you need to live up to that. That’s when the performance dips.’
These are all things Sam himself says he fell into the trap of whilst he was younger.
‘If I look back 20 years ago I was struggling. I was defining myself by outcomes. How much money I had in the bank, who my relationships were with and how they were going, what I did for a living. I was anxious and insecure and felt under pressure for pretty much my entire existence until I realised I was actually doing it all to myself. I wasn’t in control of that (when I realised) though, it just happened when it did. There was no doership.’
You may be reading this and acknowledging how effective this mindset may be for individuals competing in individual sports like golf, tennis or darts. However, what happens when you’re playing within a team environment with an institutionalised culture that almost rewards and promotes suffering and pain. Will fans connect with someone who doesn’t look like every defeat or mistake hurts you just as much as it hurts them? Will your teammates and coaches feel as if you aren’t as invested in the cause as them?
‘You’ve got to look after your own stuff first. I’ve had experiences with friends who are in professional teams. Because they’re not seen to be suffering, struggling, grinding, overtly aggressive or because they accept things for how they are, it is misundertsood and taken as being either passive or having a lack of intensity. There’s nothing you can do about how other people respond to you. What people will eventually see is that you are calm, confident, relaxed, stuff doesn’t bother you, you’re resilient and show up when you need to get stuff done. You’re not making a big deal about it, there’s no song or dance. A lot of time it will go unnoticed and your ego might have a hard time with that. But if you’ve really taken this understanding on board then it will be disappointing for people to perhaps not realise, but you won’t mind. You won’t take it personally.’
Alongside sharing these views through writing and on a consultancy basis, Sam is keen to be proactive by speaking to those who, in theory, will take to this understanding on the easiest. These are individuals who aren’t far detached from an authentic mindset of openness, freedom and a lack of concrete sense of self: school children.
‘Most human beings are taught from a very early age to believe that their happiness depends on exam results, the friends they’ve got, which uni they get into, what car the drive, what job they get. They think that’s what defines them. That’s just our conditioning, all I do is go in and question whether that is really true. Most people say that they were most happy when they were kids, young children and had none of that. What happened? Why do we place conditions on our own happiness by tying it to these things we don’t need.’
What is next for Sam?
‘I’ve got another book in the pipeline. I’m working on something at the moment. There’s a fantastic book called The Legend of Bagger Vance and it points to everything I’m curious about and pointing my work towards. So the project is around that. I don’t know what it’ll be, whether it’s a book or bits of audio I’ve been doing around it.’
If you are reading this post and are interested in finding out a bit more about what Sam has to say you can visit his golf website samjarmangolf.com or his site for coaching and other sport sportprinciples.com.
Quick Fire Q’s
Describe yourself in three words: Bald and happy. I’ll stick with those two.
How would your family and friends describe you in three words? Probably the same — bald and happy.
Biggest mental challenge experienced in life so far? Understanding who I really was.
Biggest personality strength: My curiosity.
Biggest personality weakness: I have a weakness for Punk IPA beer.
Best moment of your life so far? The present moment is always the best one.
Best piece of advice you’d give? Be curious.
